Scraps of Thought...

I Have Been Cheating on Fashion with Furniture

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I didn’t mean for it to happen, I didn’t go out looking for a replacement for Fashion. Things between Furniture and I just developed gradually and then one day I realised I would rather be looking at sofas than shoes.

Don’t get me wrong I still adore Fashion, it will always have a place in my heart and I will always feel a tiny flutter in the pit of my stomach at the sight of a beautiful handbag but…

Furniture understands me. It knows that sometimes I just want to be comfy and that’s ok. Fashion scoffs at that. Fashion is never satisfied. Fashion always wants the next best thing, the newest trends, always pushing for something else and it’s exhausting! Furniture is in it for the long haul, not just a season. 

So, I’m sorry Fashion. We’ll still have the odd fling but in my heart I will always be looking forward to going home to my lovely, comfy Furniture.

(Image by Sara

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I am watching The Lord of the Rings for the first time. Yes, I know; I am possibly the only person that hasn’t seen any of the LOTR films. I haven’t read the books either; in fact my only knowledge of this franchise is from seeing the odd promo and I have been perfectly happy with that. Elves and hobbits aren’t really my thing, but then after a conversation in which I admitted to never having seen it someone decided to lend me the DVD. Now I have to watch it.

I am currently in the grips of The Dreaded Lurgy aka The Flu (yep, flu in August! It’s unacceptable and as soon as I figure out who’s in charge of these things I intend to write a strongly worded letter of complaint.). But anyway, given I am housebound (more specifically couch bound) I figured now is as good a time as any to watch it. I may or may not be right about this - will a fluey, fogged up brain add or detract from my viewing experience?

Initial impressions are:

- fantastic scenery;

- I have no idea what the deal with the ring is;

- every time they say Bilbo Baggins I think of Biggins. image

I think I’m going to need another cup of tea before it goes any further.

It’s taboo to admit that you’re lonely. You can make jokes about it, of course. You can tell people that you spend most of your time with Netflix or that you haven’t left the house today and you might not even go outside tomorrow. Ha ha, funny. But rarely do you ever tell people about the true depths of your loneliness, about how you feel more and more alienated from your friends each passing day and you’re not sure how to fix it. It seems like everyone is just better at living than you are.

A part of you knew this was going to happen. Growing up, you just had this feeling that you wouldn’t transition well to adult life, that you’d fall right through the cracks. And look at you now. La di da, it’s happening.

Your mother, your father, your grandparents: they all look at you like you’re some prized jewel and they tell you over and over again just how lucky you are to be young and have your whole life ahead of you. “Getting old ain’t for sissies,” your father tells you wearily.

You wish they’d stop saying these things to you because all it does is fill you with guilt and panic. All it does is remind you of how much you’re not taking advantage of your youth.

You want to kiss all kinds of different people, you want to wake up in a stranger’s bed maybe once or twice just to see if it feels good to feel nothing, you want to have a group of friends that feels like a tribe, a bonafide family. You want to go from one place to the next constantly and have your weekends feel like one long epic day. You want to dance to stupid music in your stupid room and have a nice job that doesn’t get in the way of living your life too much. You want to be less scared, less anxious, and more willing. Because if you’re closed off now, you can only imagine what you’ll be like later.

Every day you vow to change some aspect of your life and every day you fail. At this point, you’re starting to question your own power as a human being. As of right now, your fears have you beat. They’re the ones that are holding your twenties hostage.

Stop thinking that everyone is having more sex than you, that everyone has more friends than you, that everyone out is having more fun than you. Not because it’s not true (it might be!) but because that kind of thinking leaves you frozen. You’ve already spent enough time feeling like you’re stuck, like you’re watching your life fall through you like a fast dissolve and you’re unable to hold on to anything.

I don’t know if you ever get better. I don’t know if a person can just wake up one day and decide to be an active participant in their life. I’d like to think so. I’d like to think that people get better each and every day but that’s not really true. People get worse and it’s their stories that end up getting forgotten because we can’t stand an unhappy ending. The sick have to get better. Our normalcy depends upon it.

You have to value yourself. You have to want great things for your life. This sort of shit doesn’t happen overnight but it can and will happen if you want it.

Do you want it bad enough? Does the fear of being filled with regret in your thirties trump your fear of living today?

We shall see.

You’re Not Making The Most Of Your 20s by Ryan O’Connell  (via paperocean)

A book with that title MUST be read. An account of how bonkers ideas and exhaustion can sometimes be worth it. #reading #NickAsbury #ExitPursuedByABadger

A book with that title MUST be read. An account of how bonkers ideas and exhaustion can sometimes be worth it. #reading #NickAsbury #ExitPursuedByABadger

Hello.

Long time no post, eh? Was pleasantly surprised to discover so many messages on my tumblr return. I do still exist. Most days anyway. I will eventually post something that might be of some interest/entertainment value for you (I hope).

In the meantime, here, look at some cute sheep!

Hello.

Long time no post, eh? Was pleasantly surprised to discover so many messages on my tumblr return. I do still exist. Most days anyway. I will eventually post something that might be of some interest/entertainment value for you (I hope).

In the meantime, here, look at some cute sheep!

Round of applause for warm sunny evenings in a pretty surroundings

Round of applause for warm sunny evenings in a pretty surroundings